hi everyone! i am not an ex-bahai or a bahai at all but i would just like some advice or to hear your thoughts on my friend who IS a bahai.
so to start, i went to junior high with this girl, let’s call her elaine. elaine and i had never talked all throughout junior high but we went on to attend high school together. i didn’t know much of her except that she was apart of this newer religion that i had never heard abt. we had many classes together and progressively got closer and closer. at our closest, i was at a very low point in my life and i would share my insecurities with her. she has always presented herself as an intellectual and spiritually superior individual, so i decided to confide in her. we started having “deep talks abt universal issues” which ALWAYS lead to her telling me, “hey we talk about these issues all the time in the youth group that i host for my community, you should consider coming.” i told her that i’m not really a religious person and she then told me, “it’s not really a religious thing. it’s more about spirituality and discussing universal issues.”
eventually, she had got me to go to this “event” after she reassured me that it would be a spiritual experience, not religion. but when i got there, we were singing prayers, discussing bahai quotes and talking about bahauallah which made me uncomfortable because it was clear to me that this was a religious activity and that my trusted friend dragged me into something that i told her i wasn’t comfortable in. later on in the day, we studied this book which taught bahai principles and values. i felt trapped because i had no idea what was going on, i thought i was supposed to be learning abt spirituality, but really i was participating in a religion that i never agreed to participate in. everyone was talking about getting contact information in order to meet up next week and i was so confused. i thought that this was just a special event but it was a book study that they expected me to attend every week. i avoided her after that experience and i’m pretty sure she got the memo so she did not invite me to the weekly book studies.
shortly after this event, we graduated high school and therefore did not have to see each other on a daily basis. of course i wanted to maintain our friendship so i would respond to her efforts to hang out. however, EVERY single time we hung out, it was always at her house with a bunch of people that i was NEVER informed abt and we would have to sing prayers and discuss bahai. these people were people that i knew from school but would never talk to. these people were people that she recruited in the same way that she tried to recruit me. i was so shocked because i never would have even thought that she would be friends with these people, but she has told me that she rounds ppl up from her community, including a student with disabilities from our high school. which made me wonder, does she disclose full details with these people or does she tell them its not a religion either? is she taking advantage of people with disabilities in order to indoctrinate them with bahai views? i don’t really know. it was so conflicting for me because i wanted to keep our friendship but i did not want to fall into this trap every single time so i would flop on her every time she asked to hang out.
when the pandemic got really bad, she did NOT stop trying to reach out to me. she asked to zoom call with me and another friend. i genuinely thought that she wanted to catch up and didn’t think that she could pull anything over the phone, so i agreed. we called and she would bring up “deep, universal issues” so that we would talk about them and she would ALWAYS try to tie it back to the teachings of bahai no matter how many times me and my friend would not engage. after that call, i felt extremely disrespected and completely ignored all of her efforts to call (and trust me, she kept trying and trying).
before the blm movement took over social media, we had no contact at all due to me ignoring her. however, when george floyd died and the blm movement started popping off, i posted about it (and still do) CONSTANTLY. i am extremely passionate about this issue. using whatever platforms i had, i encouraged everyone to not be silent on the issue and i think she saw that because she started posting bahai quotes abt racism and nothing else. she all of the sudden showed interest in what i was posting and i think she is trying to use my passion to her advantage because her very very very close friend messaged me the other day, lets call her lily. little back story on lily, she was not a bahai until recently. me and elaine have both known lily since junior high and similarly, they did not get close until high school but me and lily had always been friends. they got close because lily was attending elaine’s youth groups and took interest. she eventually became super invested and everyone in school took note of this. whenever people asked them if lily was converting, they would get super defensive and especially elaine. they would be like “i dont know why everyone is asking me this! lily is just exploring and she is not a member right now!” after we graduated, lily moved in with elaine to be completely invested in their “community efforts” and i guess she is now a member of the bahai faith. they’re very close and i cannot talk to one without talking to the other. anyways, lily messages me and talks about how i have inspired her to not be complicit during this important era. she starts ranting to me about how racism is so enshrined in our institutions and then she sent a bahai quote which basically says that political action alone won’t help and that “racism will be eliminated only when peoples of the world are convinced of the oneness of mankind.” she asked me for my thoughts on that and i just ignored it because i felt like she was trying to take advantage of the blm movement to push her own religious agenda so i just continued the rant on racism. she takes a week to respond and then she asks if i want to have “an online space over Zoom to engage even more people into this conversation and to talk more about how to take an active role in all this” with people from high school and junior high. i immediately ignored it because it seems like another trap and as if shes going to try to propose bahai teachings as solutions to racism.
none of this sits well with me. i find everything super immoral (ESPECIALLY taking advantage of blm). i feel like they have consistently tried to manipulate and deceive me into recruitment, but sometimes i feel like i am crazy. anyways i would just like to know your guys’ thoughts! are my feelings valid?? is this how ppl of the bahai faith recruit people?? are these common tactics? do you think she became friends with me solely to be able to recruit me later on? are all bahais super devoted like this where their whole entire identity is consumed by their faith and they are nothing outside of it?anything you guys have to say is appreciated! AND SUPERRR sorry for the incredibly long post.
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