Why I am a Baha'i!? Satire

I've been browsing anti-Baha'i websites from time to time and noticed that many people misunderstand the teachings of the Faith or perhaps, deliberately misrepresent them to the public. Since it is my duty as a Bahá'í to defend the Faith, I'll take this opportunity to faithfully represent some of our noble principles.

Equality of Men and Women

The Faith affirms the equality of men and women. Unlike some religions that claim to believe in gender equality but what they really mean is that men and women are equal in the eyes of God, we stand for its true meaning: equal opportunities regardless of sex. Those religions continue to discriminate against women and claim that it is God's inscrutable wisdom. Ha! Nice try justifying sexism. Furthermore, unlike some religions that have a man or men who govern over womankind, in the Faith, women enjoy the same rights and responsibilities as their counterparts.

Independent Investigation of Truth

The Faith mandates everyone to undergo an independent investigation of truth and as a corollary, members are permitted and even encouraged to read and respond to the writings of heretics and critics. Look how glorious the Faith is! Other religions discourage members in the strongest terms from reading certain books and even possessing them. In contrast, Bahá'ís are exhorted to avoid blind faith by challenging their beliefs.

Oneness of Humanity

Unlike some religions that discriminate against gays, the Faith welcomes them with open arms. How can these religions bring oneness to humanity when 2% or 140 million people in the world are exclusively gay? In contrast, the Faith doesn't label their sexual orientation as a handicap, affliction, problem, etc. We don't use such hurtful language. We don't tolerate homophobia. As an exclusive heterosexual, I know that I would slowly lose my mind if I was forced to spend my life as a celibate so why would I expect it from others?

Oneness of Religion

No matter what a person may believe, in the Faith, we embrace everyone with open arms. That's right, even if someone has a heretical belief, we show them as much love as others. After all, the Faith affirms the oneness of all religions. Some religions shun and subsequently, separate friends and even family members because of the differences of creed. How on earth can these religions bring unity to the world? There's no greater truth than love and that is why the Faith does not tolerate analogies like cancer, leprosy, and poison to refer to people with certain beliefs.

Service to Humanity

Some religions proselytize incessantly. They hide behind euphemisms like witnessing, evangelizing, etc. In contrast, the Faith doesn't expend all or even most of the its time, energy, and money on telling our neighbours that they're wrong or to put it nicely, not right enough. After all, we believe in the oneness of religion so instead, we lower our standard of living if we have to and actually help people. Just as poverty knows no religion, humanitarian work knows no religion. It's unfortunate how some religions build and maintain grandiose temples, often times surrounded by poverty. The real temple is the human heart and that's why we would rather feed an orphan than have a multimillion dollar temple.

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