I was raised as a baha’i and I recently became an atheist. Not many people know about this religion so here’s a quick summary about it, it’s a new abrahamic religion (around 2 centuries old) that recognizes older religions such as islam, christianity, buddism, hindu, etc... as legit religions that are now “expired” and the baha’i religion is the better and newer religion for this time. There are a few million baha’is in the world, and they’re in almost every country because they make it a mission to spread out the religion to every part of the world. It’s a very organized religion where they keep track of every member and where they live and if they move to a different city or country.
I’m now 25 years old and my journey started around 10 years ago when i suddenly started feeling alienated by people at my school for being from a different religion and not a christian (i was in a christian school and everyone around me was christian). I started to think what if I’m not in the right religion, what if I’m wrong and I’m not on the right path to god. So i started reading some books and articles, some in favor and some against the baha’i faith, and i started feeling so overwhelmed and confused. So i kept praying hoping i would get some answers, and one night i had a “spiritual dream” that i felt was my answer and i just stopped my search for the truth and was convinced that the baha’i faith is true.
During those 10 years i became even more religious but i still had many unanswered questions in my mind but i kept trying to shove them away thinking that it’s all god’s plan and he will reveal everything at the right time. Every now and then i would get recommended a video about atheism and i would watch it and think that if those people knew about my religion they wouldn’t be atheists, because i was so deep into it that i was convinced it was true.
I’ve never read the aqdas (the baha’i holy book) but there were other books that were made as an introduction about the religion that were an extremely dumbed down version of it made for baha’is and outsiders to read so that painted the religion in a very peaceful and pleasant light. They never encouraged people to read the original book, but they did encourage people to have meetings that go on for hours to study these new simple books. They also had books for children and youths that were baha’i based books but were taught to non-baha’i children without telling the parents that it’s baha’i based books which is extremely disgusting and deceiving.
I attended some of the meetings they had to study these books and i even invited my friend to come along. I started to notice how fake the baha’is were towards the non-baha’is that were attending. People that have never spoken to me, suddenly started acting as if we’ve been friends our whole lives just to put on an image that we’re all happy and welcoming people and everyone is friends with everyone. I was weirded out by how everyone was acting and i knew that this wasn’t right.
A couple of years ago i started to look more into it, reading the aqdas and researching more about the laws and principles of the religion and i found so many contradictions. For example, there’s the equality of men and women, but women aren’t allowed to be members of the highest governing body (the universal house of justice). So i asked people about this, they all said the same thing, it’s all god’s plan and we’re not supposed to know yet.
When i started reading the aqdas (which has a list of rules for the baha’is to follow) i noticed some very weird and disgusting laws. Homosexuals and adulterers have to pay fines that double with every “offense”. I’m pro-LGBTQ so this was extremely disturbing to read. A husband can get a refund on his bride’s dowry if she turns out not to be a virgin. If a couple apply for divorce and the divorce is not yet finalized and they have sex, they have to pay a fine (which is extremely weird cause how on earth would people find out if they had sex or not). That men aren’t supposed to grow their hair long. These are some of the weird shit i found in the aqdas that shocked me because I’ve never heard about any of it and no one talks about it.
I took a step back from the religion and stopped attending any meetings or events, and that’s when i finally started seeing things from an outside point of view. This religion was more like a cult where you’re told what to think, what books to read, where your donation money goes, what you should do with your free time, what prayers to say...
When i was going through this, i started sharing my thoughts about everything with my now husband and I’m so glad that i had his support, and we both decided to leave religion around the same time. We haven’t officially resigned from the religion (yes people have to officially submit their resignation from the religion otherwise they will still list them in their database) because we haven’t yet been open about it because we still don’t feel ready yet and we currently live in a middle eastern country where it’s not very safe to be an open atheist.
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